I took my daughter today to the doctor to be tested for asthma. She hasn't had any major episodes, but she complains periodically when she is playing sports that her chest hurts and it's hard to breathe. The diagnosis was sports and allergy induced asthma.
This is truly not a big deal. And yet I found myself last night unable to sleep, my anxiety level high about all the things that could go wrong with my kids and their health. I felt almost a sense of panic at just having to go into the doctor's office. My children, for the most part, are extremely healthy. In fact, the doctor today asked if we were seeing another physician because it had been so long since we had been in the office. I told her we were not "cheating" we just had healthy kids.
This got me thinking. Am I so comfortable in my cushy existence that I become paranoid at the thought of anything going wrong? There are many other things I worry about as a mom, but why does the subject of their health send me into a mental tailspin? I wonder if it is because of the things that in my mind, I can't control. Granted, I cannot control skinned knees or my daughter's bruises after a softball game. But I don't struggle with those - to me, those are simply a part of life. But what about cancer and diabetes? We don't know exactly what causes then and we desperately search for cures.
I see moms who deal with this every day and I am in awe. I have a dear friend who has a son with autism. She faces it every, single day. I watch her and I am brought to tears at the thought of the selfless attitude she has in caring for her son. She does it with an authentic knowledge of how difficult it is, but without complaint. She is my hero.
My daughter was subdued after her doctor's appointment today. We talked of how she felt there was something wrong with her and she didn't like that. We talked about being grateful for how healthy she is and how this was as simple to deal with as a spray from an inhaler once before each softball practice or game. We prayed for kids with much more to deal with in their lives and for their families. I pray from a mother's heart (and a woman's) that she will continue to see the importance of exercise and healthy eating in a society that is obsessed with only how the outside of a person looks.
I am in no way less stressed tonight than I was last night. But I am grateful. I am grateful that mild asthma was the diagnosis. I am grateful for my friend who shows me daily what a real mom looks like. I am grateful that God knows exactly what my children will face in their lives, and that He is good and He is faithful.
